Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
