we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
