She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
