so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
