ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
