Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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