i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
