i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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