I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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