I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
