Nicole vs. Life
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
