Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
