Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
