you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
