If i come over, it means nothing
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
