the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
