You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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