ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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