i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
i need some magic done to my vagina
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
