I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
