where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
