it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
