apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
my liver is dry heaving
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
