32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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