Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
