She even gives head with a lisp.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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