he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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