Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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