How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
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