that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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