And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Randomize
