Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I looked at my own cervix.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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