do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
