you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
So vagazzling was a success
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
