Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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