I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
