i permit you to call me
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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