He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
