Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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