I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
