I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
