and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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