She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Two words: blizzard sex
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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