why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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