I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
