Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
