I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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