Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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