TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
