yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
