i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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