i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
