I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
