Need sex. Gaining weight.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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