I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
